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Sep. 10th, 2012

Mood Swing

World Suicide Prevention Day

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Sept 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day. Wear yellow or write the word LOVE on your wrist and at 8pm light a candle near a window to show your support.
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Help remove the stigma surrounding Mental Health so that people aren't afraid to ask for help when they need it. Suicide is preventable. Believe me, I know - I'm one of the people who have help. Without it I can guarantee you that I would not be alive today.

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Sep. 3rd, 2012

Republic of Treacle Mine Road

Sick and shitty!

Ugh. So sick. So sick of being so sick! Headaches, shaking, bad nausea & diarrhea have pretty much been my life for the past four days. I basically sleep all day and only get up for a few hours in the evening. I feel terrible that I wasn't even able to go to family do for Father's Day yesterday - I'm a horrible daughter.

Gah! I don't know if it's from coming off my antidepressants or from going onto lithium ...there are reasons why it shouldn't be either so I don't know what the hell it is! The runs are the only one I've seen listed as a possibility when coming  off Parnate - mostly it's the usual when coming off any antidepressant increase in Depression & anxiety etc. so that doesn't explain the symptoms. As for Lithium - while most of these are kind of possible side-effects of that it doesn't make sense that I was on it for three weeks before I started getting any of these symptoms.

It's just so foreign and bizzarre to me coz meds have so little effect on me (+ or - ) that I've been told I'm treatment resistant. So having this horrible physical reaction has really thrown me. If I'm going to have all this fucking side-effect shit it would only be fair to at least get the positive effects as well. Huh I wish.

Have just eaten a boiled egg with toast coz I have to eat something with meds but it's the first thing I've eaten all day. Just don't know what I can eat without feeling like I'm going to bring it back up & it sends me running to the loo. Am now waiting for the inevitable wave of increased nausea *sigh* I'm just so SICK OF THIS!!!

Aug. 22nd, 2012


Emma & August Icons

Here are some icons I've made for the show Once Upon a Time for my OTP "Wooden Swan" or August Booth/Emma Swan. I'm completely obsessed with Emma/August so I dare say I'll end up making more stuff for this pairing. I'm completely amazed that more people don't ship this hot couple, and am completely baffeled as to why everyone isn't in love/LUST with August like I am. Seriously. Are other people even watching the same show? And where the hell has Eion Bailey been all me life? *wipes drool off chin* Well it's good to know that there are at least some of us out there and I thought I'd add to the love (and feed my obsession) by making some August/Emma Icons.

Please feel Free to use any of them just credit vardaquareien


2 animated and 10 still icons behind the cutCollapse )

cross posted to emma_august community.

Aug. 15th, 2012


Trying my best to Avoid going into Hospital.

"Oh that this too, too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew...

Depressing entry that no one will want to read or care aboutCollapse )

I don't want to go back to the  fucking hospital but I know that exactly where I'll end up no matter how I feel about it!

Goddammit now I'm fucking crying again! I need my dog.

Aug. 6th, 2012


6 Years on...

Found myself back on LJ lurking for awhile now - visiting fanfic & shipping comms so decided to actually resurrect my Journal. Holy shit has is really been SIX YEARS!!! Wow!

~ Guess this is one more thing that proves my diagnosis of Avoidant Personality Disorder right - I don't only avoid real life and real people I avoid people online as well! Feel pretty safe at the mo though as the knowledge that anyone who was on my friends list from 6 years ago prob wouldn't have a clue who I am so will prob ignore this post.

Kinda embarrassing to look at a journal from 6 years ago - but no point creating a new one. Still love LOTR(and always will) so the username's still fine. Just hafta change some of the interests and have a new layout up & change some of the dorky icons. Shall also avoid reading anything I wrote 6 years ago as its bound to only depress me how much I've changed for (the worse)

Mainly re-actualized so I could vote on a poll. Have become obsessed with the Wooden Swan ship (Emma/August) on Once Upon a Time and seeing as this ship is so tiny it's actually pushed me back on LJ to vote for it. I just don't get how more people don't see the scorching hotness that is Eion Bailey -
mmm yummy! Hmm should make Wooden Swan icon so can convert where possible.

Hmm what else is mention-worthy? My other obsession is NCIS my OTP McNozzo (McGee/Dinozzo) but I've had it for a few years now - (I'm also partial to McGibbs but it's more of an #2 pairing for me). Actually I think for the last few years NCIS has been my only obsessive fandom - I guess I'm the definition of the true obsessive - there can be only one!

So, that ramble took forever... had to checkout whether my photobucket account from 6 years was still valid too, it was. Then got distracted. Not unusual for me.

And I'm off...

Nov. 9th, 2006


Long time no post!

There's something very strange about me. Ok maybe I should narrow that down, as I admit there are many things strange about me. Specifically this time is the fact that I used to post here fairly regularly until the beginning of this year when I got a paid account. One would think this would insure that I'd keep using my LJ right? Seeing as I'd layed out money and all. I haven't posted since February. A normal person doesn't do that!

Why exactly haven't I posted since February? *shrugs* Buggered if I know! Why am I posting now? Yeah, still haven't a clue. It's not like I've got anything to say! On that note, I think I'll bugger off!

Feb. 11th, 2006

Mood Swing

Finally heard from Uni...

...and I'm back in. I thought I probably would be, it was more whether I'd done it in time and I thought they might put me off til second semester *ahem* sorry second session (my uni has it's own fucked up terminology). Yeah so I got up in the middle of the night and raided the kitchen as I tend to do and ended up looking up my email and found that they'd contacted me.

So yeah I've gotta fix up some online stuff when I can access my "My.UNSW" account - I contacted the IT people for a new UniPass to access it - then when I've done that it's a matter of deciding on a subject. I've decide to enroll in enough subjects to be considered full-time then go and get my uni card so that I can get the train concession thing on it (the buggers only let you have it if your full-time) then just unenroll in the subjects I'm not gonna do. Makes it easy when you can add and drop subject online eh?

So yeah. Uni here I come...again *unenthusiastic cheer*.

P.S. The eBay buggers still haven't got back to me. Fuckers.
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Feb. 7th, 2006


eBay saga cont...

Well I've slept all day again coz I still feel like crap. Which makes it three weeks that I haven't gone to my shrink's appointment.

So I finally get up and go straight to my email to see if eBay's messaged me. They haven't. So I sign in at eBay to see if they've left me a message that way. They haven't. Fuck. Those bastards are reselling my phone so if eBay don't hurry up and get back to me there will be no phone left to dispute over! Fuck. And there's nothin' else I can do...

Still feeling like absolute shyte. And feeling guilty as hell for missing another shrimk appointment. Oh yeah, I'm still waiting to hear back from uni too. Gah! I think I'll go back to sleep so I can avoid thinking.

Forgot to put this up last week...

I got the "Walterific Award" at stargate_comedy for my icon. The challenge was The Wizard of Oz.

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Here's my actual icon coz it was animated:
Image hosting by Photobucket

Feb. 6th, 2006

Mood Swing

eBay issues and feelin' like crap.

Well that basically sums up my day. I've been feelin really crap since I was out on Sat night. I was fine to begin with then after dinner and some drinks I got this horrible feeling in my gut which later headed south. I don't think it had anything to do with what I ate especially seeing as Rachel and I shared the same pizza. Katie reckoned it was the three toblerone cocktail's I had, but she's just biased against creamy cocktails - they don't usually affect me. Besides it's a couple a days later now and I still feel like crud.

So yeah. Today I went on eBay as usual to have a look at phones. I found a listing for a Nokia 7270 which once I looked at it turned out to be a Nokia 7370. So I messaged the seller to find out which it actually was (it was the 7370) and seeing as it was heaps less than what I'd ever seen this phone go for I bid on it and ended up winning it for A$127.50. Ok soooo here I am stoked coz this phone goes for over A$500 on eBay and I'm not sure what in shops (I don't actually think it's even in Australia yet!).

So after a very brief, shining moment of happiness I get an email from the seller saying that they were re-listing the item due to the title description being wrong! They can't do that! It's a contract. They listed it, I bid for it and won. Therefore the damn phone is mine BEOTCH!

So after emailing them a few times - the result of which was them offering me 10% off my next purchase - I have contacted eBay to see what they can do. I mean the second auction could end up being more like the A$500 I've seen the phones go for and 10% is not going to do me any damn good! They made a mistake so why should I have to pay for it?

I mean consider the mistake in the first place. The title said it was a nokia 7270 but it turned out to be a 7370. If anything this only effects the buyer. I'm not worried about it seeing as they answered my question that it was in fact the 7370. So why are they re-listing it when it was successfully sold? Because they want to sell it for more that's bloody well why! Too damn bad! An auction's an auction. If the damn phone sold for $127.50 then you sell the damn price to the person who won it! There was no reserve so they can't do anything about it!

I hope that eBay are gonna back me up on this. I mean I'm pretty sure they will. I am in the right here... aren't I? Back me up people the phone should be mine right? The thing that worries me is that the buggers have already re-listed the phone! So if they have another auction before eBay settle this... what then?

I'm gonna be dreamin' angry dreams about mobile phones tonight I just know it!

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